Real Men Have Tattoos!

Just do it!

As I stated in the previous post, he got his shots.  The beginning of ADT, androgen deprivation therapy.  Woohoo!  We were told the side effects and also told that he would have 'mild irritation' at the injection site.  Now, what I call mild irritation is what I feel the day after a flu shot, a little tender but no biggie.  Moderate irritation would be my arm the day after a tetanus shot.  Here is his belly the day after firmagon.

Obviously, he couldn't stand anything to touch it.  It was hot, swollen and so tight.  I promise you this is not belly fat!  He didn't wear a t-shirt because he couldn't stand the rub of the fabric.  Not exactly what I would call a "mild irritation" at the site.  It took about 2 weeks for things to get better.  Now, he has 2 hard lumps in his belly, not painful at all.  He refers to them as his ovaries. 

His hot flashes are coming now as predicted. 

If only we could coordinate our flashes together...

Radiation started on January 12th.  He was fitted with a spongy thing that holds his legs in the same position everyday.

Oh Gregg and his crackberry...

They did this by positioning him and placing the mold, while picturing his prostate with a CT scanner.  The CT guy invited me to sit with him as he performed the adjustments. 

I saw it.  I saw the tumor.  I clarified, just to make sure, CT guy nodded. 

Gregg lies still under the machine counting ceiling tiles.

After calculations were complete and the position was secured, it was time for tattoos.  Appropriately, Gregg wore his Harley shirt today, not realizing he would be getting his 1st tattoos.  CT guy, who is a Harley guy himself, had a good time with that.  We laughed, thinking back at Phoebe on "Friends" who had the whole world tattooed on her shoulder.

Radiation is better with chocolate covered strawberries,

thanks Linsey!

In Bible Study Fellowship yesterday, the teaching leader started us off with this statement, "Cancer is to the body like sin is to the world.  Creeps in a little at a time and then it takes something radical to get rid of it."  Oh, so true.  Radiation is definitely radical!

Digging deep and reaching high!

That Others May Know

My main reason for continuing to tell our story is so that others will know.  

Change thinking ways... change doing ways.  Breast cancer is so well promoted.  There is probably not one woman alive who hasn't heard about a mammogram.  Breast cancer seems to have permeated most families, lending to further our education on the disease. Pink ribbons are on everything from bumpers to butter. 

and women talk...  They share their stories and their tears.  They wrap arms, cook casseroles and say prayers.  Men don't.  They go into their caves in an attempt to bear the burden alone.  I've watched women fight this disease with more strength than I ever knew they had.  It hurt to see such pain but in the end I stood proud of what they accomplished. 

While they might have had a cheering audience, the trek, they walked that alone. 

I'm proud of Gregg that he is willing to share the deeply, personal and shameful aspects of his disease.  Believe me when I tell you.  He does NOT participate in pity parties and doesn't want anyone's sympathy.  We've both been shocked at the ugliness of prostate cancer.  The extreme radical treatment and the physical and psychological pain that comes with it.  His sole purpose...

Just so others may know.

Many believe the two cancers, prostate and breast, are related, from the same gene.

Both scary.

Both cutting away at your core.

I'm glad screening tests are relatively easy for BrCa and PCa.  Have you or your loved one had your yearly screening?  Yearly mammograms after 40.  Yearly PSA after 45.  These ages change if you have a 1st degree relative with either of these cancers. Developing these tests took years of research, but neither of them prevent cancer.  They are early detection sirens.  THAT'S NOT ENOUGH!

How about stopping it before it happens?  Eradicating cancer.  Like polio!  Hopefully, we'll see this in our lifetimes.  For now, do what you can.  Eat right and exercise, get yearly screenings and donate to the American Cancer Society. 

Statistics

Breast Cancer                                                                 Prostate Cancer
1 in 8 women will get BrCa this year                              1 in 6 men will be diagnosed this year
230,480 women will be diagnosed in the USA               240,890 men will be diagnosed in the USA
39,520 will die from BrCa                                               33,720 men will die this year.
Most commonly diagnosed cancer among women          Most commonly diagnosed cancer among men
2nd deadliest cancer among women,                              2nd deadliest cancer among men

Lung cancer takes the lead in both sexes

I hope you learned something.  Hug a man today and ask him about his most recent PSA!

Digging deep and reaching high!

Doing the Next Thang

Our New Year started off great with our family here to celebrate with us.  Charles making his famous crabcakes and dill sauce.  I quickly answered the call from the top of my stairs in the early morning.  "Mimi! I want pancakes and syrup!!  PEEEZ"  and can that child eat some pancakes!  We had a great time and Gregg enjoyed torturing the guys with the pictures of his coming procedures.  Leslie declared of those procedures, "Taint my cup of tea!"  and all the puns begin.  Our team was formed!

Notice ,Kati Beth wants to fight like a pirate.  She's saying "Arrrrggh!"

Could Gregg be any prouder?

Our mailbox full of pamphlets and everywhere we turn, we see cancer.  The unnoticed billboards that we've driven by a thousand times, advertise cancer treatments.  Every news report has at least one mention of cancer that we now hear in bold."  Noticing all the pregnant bellies when I was pregnant was wonderful.  This...not so much.

 

Knowledge is powerful, sometimes overwhelming and I'm still learning when to close the laptop.

Treatment options for PCa are:
1.  watchful waiting
2.  prostatectomy (robotic or through the abd)
3. radiation
     a.. permanent seeds Brachytherapy
     b.  temporary seeds HRP
     c.  daily IMRT
4.  Androgen Deprivation therapy


Dr Banks and Dr McCord both told us that watchful waiting is not an option for treatment for Gregg because it would surely lead to death.

1. watchful waiting

Dr Banks, the surgeon who has performed this surgery around 1500 times says he would not be able to get all the cancer because he would not be able to see it all.  Just going on statistics alone Gregg probably has other organ involvement. Bone and Ct scans are negative at this point but they reminded us, even at high levels these lifesavers only see tumors, not cells.

2.  prostatectomy

Dr McCord, the radiation-oncologist, steps in and shows us (for 2 hours) options for radiation.  I don't know if he normally does this or not but he copied several journal articles and gave them to me.  (Remember, I came with a briefcase full of questions, pamphlets, highlighters and pens)  No stone left unturned, no question left unanswered.

3.  IMRT and HRT radiation would be our plan.

Side effects would be bladder irritation, severe burning with urination, fatigue, diarrhea, smaller risk of damage to lower bowel and rectum including fissures or strictures but this would most likely kill the cancer=cure US.

It's Dr Banks turn again and he begins the talk on "hormone therapy".  and our talk became eerie like wolves crying in the night.

This therapy is rightfully known as androgen deprivation therapy.  Meaning it kills hormones dead!  PCa's meal of choice is testosterone.  T is needed for the Ca cells to survive and thrive and divide.  Testosterone has to be eliminated.  The process of this also eliminates estrogen.  Yes, men have estrogen too.  It gives them feelings, like compassion, nurturing and loving someone else.  We all know what testosterone's job is.  But physically, these hormones also work together balancing cardiac health and bone health and a million other physiological processes.  Doesn't that remind you of a marriage both balancing and holding each other up?  Oh to get a glimpse of the mind of our Creator God.

With the combination or IMRT and HRT and ADT Gregg has a 80% chance of survical!  We'll take it!

Side effects of ADT:  hot flashes, weight gain, forgetfulness, weakness, decreased in bone density, moody, and impotence.  Dr Banks said, "now you'll know what menopause feels like!

Gregg signed the informed consent agreeing to be "medically castrated".  Huge lumps form in my throat. Seeing it in print.  For the 1st time, I feel a little anger.  My dander's all puffed.

This cancer keeps cutting deeper and deeper. Is that the goal of cancer?

I then hear the voice of Beth Moore saying, "do the thang, you just do the thang, girlfriend". 

I also hear Elisabeth Elliott, in her elderly, velvet voice, "when you're feeling overwhelmed, dear one, do the next thing...just keep moving". 

Or remembering the note from my dear friend, Sandy,

 "In pastures green?

Not always. 

Sometimes He who knows best

 in kindness

 leads me in weary ways:

where shadows be. 

So whether on hilltops high

 fair I dwell

 or in the sunless valleys

 where the shadows lie. 

What matter?

He is there."

Cancer starved=cancer dead=Gregg alive!  We'll take it! We'll do the thang!

Gregg's serious response to all of this,  "Doc, how will this affect my driving?" 

Face. long. waiting.

Doc assures, "Son, your driving should be fine." 

Gregg "not if you're making me into a woman!"

 and we laughed!

He got those 2 crazy, awful, horrendous shots of Firmagon in his belly. (Really, whoever named that drug had a sick sense of humor)   Wincing he said, "that hurt like hell!"  Garage door opens and welcomes us home.  He took one look at me and then started clapping his hands and saying, "Let's watch HGTV!" 

and we laughed...

Our Sunday morning worship song

I know that I can make it

I know that I can stand

No matter what may come my way

My life is in your hands

Public service announcement:

1 in 6 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer this year.  (1 in 5 african american men)

30,000 men will die from PCa this year.

It is the number 1 cancer of men

2nd leading cancer caused death in men.

screening involves yearly blood test starting at the age of 40

Ask the men in your life what their PSA is.  They should know it!

Digging deep, reaching high!

PSA's, Gleason Scores and Other Things We Didn't Know

So much to tell and it's just plain hard to start.  The things I'm about to share are deeply personal and not very pretty.  I'm sharing because Gregg asked me.  He wants his story known, so others can benefit.  Try not to be judgmental if at times my sense of humor seems odd or my faith seems weak or I have a little pity party.  Lastly, this is our story.  I'm not speaking for others fighting cancer, just us. 

The 1st week of December, Gregg had a physical.  Thinking it was a good time to meet our new doctor and nurse practitioner and get his prescriptions from his Milwaukee docs refilled.  He had some microscopic blood in his urine so his NP wanted to get a PSA (prostate specific antigen).  He always has blood in his urine, because he's had kidney stones forever (or so it seems).  We weren't worried at all.  He gets a call a couple of days later to let him know his PSA was elevated to 5.2.  If you're like me, you'd have to look that up on the internet.  Yes, it was elevated but not that much and I also read that having sex 24 hours prior to this test can give a falsely high result.  ok...guilty.  Again, very reassured and really didn't even think about it anymore.  The NP encouraged Gregg to see a urologist and he thought it a good idea because of his history of kidney stones and to check out this PSA.

Dr Banks, the urologist, talked with Gregg and was concerned with the PSA.  He wanted to repeat the test but he also wanted to do a prostate biopsy.  This PSA was 4.6.  Barely elevated!  Gregg went ahead with the biopsy anyway.  At the office, they refer to this as the "torture chamber".  The PA that did this was compassionate, funny and thorough.  He informed Gregg that he had done about 1000 of these. 

Here's the procedure...A prostate biopsy uses transrectal ultrasound imaging to guide several small needles through the rectum wall into areas of the prostate where abnormalities are detected. The needles remove a tiny amount of tissue. Usually, 12 biopsies are taken to test various areas of the prostate. The tissue samples are then analyzed in a laboratory by a pathologist.  

No anesthesia...none. 

Gregg said it was more painful than anything he could imagine.  He came home with bloody urine and bloody BM's for about a week.  He was not happy!

On December 15th, Dr Banks called and told Gregg, while he was on his way home, that he did have cancer and wanted to see him the next week to talk about treatment options.  We swallowed hard but proceeded.  Again, I go to the internet seeking trustworthy information and once again, I'm relieved.  Clark Howard, an Atlanta talk show host, has prostate cancer and he's not doing anything.  His is so new, so slow growing, he has decided for watchful waiting. Gregg has no symptoms, no family history, slightly elevated PSA, this is where we would be.  FOR SURE

We called our daughters and told them, reassured them, and answered their questions the best we knew how.  We had Kati Beth that week, so there was no time for lots of pondering or even talking.  She kept us happy and focused...on her.  We went into NC the following weekend and had Christmas with our family.  We were upbeat and yes, a little worried. 

December 21st, we met with Dr Banks.  He gave us the reports, laid out charts, drew us pictures.  Gregg was told he had 10 of 12 cores positive for cancer.  His Gleason score was 8 on a scale of 2-10.  Not what we were expecting.  We were told this was a very aggressive form and needed immediate treatment.  He informed us of options but told us we needed to see an oncologist the following week for a real plan of care. 

This was Wednesday.  Thursday morning I was calling and scheduling appts with Atlanta Oncology.  Wow, my head was spinning.  Before they would see us they wanted CT scans and bone scans, which means insurance authorizations and all that nonsense.

We were scheduled to meet with Dr McCord, December 29th.  It was the longest week of our life.  We researched more than I thought humanly possible.  We developed our questions.  We were in full attack mode.  Our daughters shared their research and their questions and we copied and pasted those onto ours.  I didn't know how they were doing.  They were quiet, which was scary.  As the mom, I need to take care of everyone.  If they're hurting, I need to be there.  This particular week, I could only think about Gregg.

We're ready to fight!

Come back in a couple of days for the rest of the story, as Paul Harvey would say.

We sang this song in church a few weeks ago.  It's become my motto for now.

I Am Determined by Jennifer LaMountain

I Am Determined 
Darkness around me, sorrow surrounds me; 
Though there be trials, still I can sing. 
For I have this treasure – my God reigns within me, 
And I am determined to live for the King. 

CHORUS:
I am determined to be invincible 
‘Til He has finished His purpose in me. 
And nothing shall shake me 
For He’ll never forsake me 
And I am determined to live for the King. 

Hell’s gates are trembling from our prayers ascending 
Darkness is crumbling from praises we sing. 
Our Sovereign, Victorious is marching before us, 
And we are determined to live for the King. 

CHORUS

When I am weary – I’ll look to His face; 
And when I am tempted, 
I’ll trust in His grace --- 
Yes, I’ll trust in His grace ----- 

CHORUS:
I am determined to be invincible 
‘Til He has finished His purpose in me. 
And nothing shall shake me 
For He’ll never forsake me 
And I am determined – 
I am determined --- 
I am determined to live for My King.