Good thing We Aren't All Altos

I don't know when I started singing alto.  I just always have. 

Growing up in church, I can't possibly remember when I first heard it but as soon as I did, I was hooked.  Loved the harmony, loved the echo in those old hymns and loved resolutions.  Still do!

I'm so thankful for Frances Holliday and Dolly Nicholson as they were some of the first altos I ever heard.




My choir director started integrating Christmas music in our practice just prior to Labor Day.  The program will be fantastic and we have several very challenging songs.  We memorize all the music and words.  I'm getting palpitations just thinking about this! 

Last week, CD's were passed out for our learning "pleasure".  I love the music, so I was thrilled to pop this in my CD player and sing the whole way home from church. 

Let's just say it wasn't exactly what I expected.

Susan, our lead alto in our 125 person choir, sings all the songs in her lovely alto voice, while playing the alto notes on the piano.  Again, she has a velvetty, smooth and pure alto voice...

but all this beautiful accompaniment playing very quietly in the background and all I here is alto. 

While, this may be exactly what I need, because those alto notes are difficult to find in some of our pieces...

just maybe not what I want to hear riding down the road.

Alto is only pretty when paired with sopranos and tenors and basses.  It's the harmony and blending and balancing that makes it so beautiful for a duet to a full choir.

Holding your corner,
doing your thing,
completing your task. 

Doesn't this cover everything about the world we live in.  From our occupations, our ministries, even to our marriages.  Working together benefits all. 

As the Church, we are called to be the hands and feet of Christ, the body of Christ.  Each part doing something a little different, yet completely essential.  Working in harmony...for Him. 

"May it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear."

Rendering a complete work. 
       Being the Church. 
                 Not because He needs us but because we need Him.

Colossians 3:23-24

  "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord,

 not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.

 It is the Lord Christ you are serving."

Your part is essential, alongside all the other parts. 

Zephaniah 3:17

"The LORD your God is with you,

 he is mighty to save.

 He will take great delight in you,

 he will quiet you with his love,

 he will rejoice over you with singing."

Ever wondered about Him singing? 

               He's singing over you today

                    ...listen.

Digging deep and reaching high

Sweaters, Sawdust and Storage

I might wear it this year

probably not

what was I thinking?         

If I lose 10 pounds..

fat jeans...

How old is this?

Really?

I LOVE THIS!

I forgot I had this!

These thoughts ramble through my head as my closet gets switched from summer to fall.   Going through my things is hard.  I don't want to throw things out.  I'm in there forever and the bag of clothes actually making it to Goodwill might take me a few weeks. 

Hey, I paid good money for those things!

Those '80's jumpers fit so well...

Gregg's clothes are much easier to go through.  I'm done in no time.  He doesn't even miss anything.  He wears whatever's on top.  Sometimes, I purposely hide certain shirts just so he won't wear them every 3rd day. 

Since my daughters have been on their own, I've been called to help with closet overgrowth.  I went in like a child in a candy store, ready and eager!  It's so easy to purge and clean out someone else's junk.  If I could just quiet my endless carping...

That's too short!

that's too low!

you've had this since 7th grade!

isn't this your sister's?

do you really need this many tank tops?

Mirrors are required to properly see yourself.  They tell the truth. 

Many years ago when I was in junior high and Joanie had just started teaching, Aunt Evelyn and Uncle Dick went on vacation and I wanted to stay with Joanie.  Together we made this chocolate cake but it didn't come out of the pan as expected.  No matter, because we covered it with a creamy glaze and it was about the best cake I've ever had. 

Life doesn't work that way, even though we try.  A creamy, white glaze covers our junk and we think it's hidden, meanwhile, everywhere we look we can't help but see others' short-comings.  And goodness knows, they need our help!  Bless their hearts!  (Ahh that sickly sweet aroma of benzoin.)

Christ, Himself, stated, "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?  How can you say to your brothers, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?  You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." 

Jesus, the carpenter, knows a thing or two about sawdust. 

He called me a hypocrite?  Ouch! 

My plank, (a passion for criticism), is huge and leaves splinters, scrapes and bruises.  In spite of that, I still tote it around.  Hard-headed, stiff-necked people, hmmm, that would be me.

Besides the obvious and overwhelming influence and power of the Holy Spirit, do you ever wonder how else Paul was able to accomplish so much?  He had a good friend called Barnabus, Son of Encouragement.  (Acts 4:36) 

Who needs criticism and who am I to give it?  Instead, starting today, I'll leave a trail of encouragement? 

Meanwhile, I'm signing up for a plankectomy.

Digging deep and reaching high.

Alongside

I hate sweating!  Don't know how I managed to grow up in eastern NC and hate it so, but I do.  Working alongside my fellow is another story.  Now, he would tell you that I still complained and quit, WAY before he did, but while I was out there, it was good. 

We are clearing off a small piece of our lot that was on the other side of our fence, where the grass is not greener, by the way.  By small, I mean an area about 20 feet deep and maybe 75 feet wide.  When I say clearing, I mean the kind of clearing with our hands, a rake, pruning shears and a small electric chain saw.  Perplexing, the toughness of twenty year old vines.  We chopped, pulled, dug up and then burned vines for 2 days.  Loosed dogwoods whispered "thank yous" as they straightened themselves up just a bit.  

There's something about accomplishment, ownership and reaching goals with the one person who knows you best. The one person who doesn't mind seeing you sweat.

All that sweating together made me think about my grandparents, who worked alongside one another for so many years.  I don't think my grandmother had a choice honestly, but more than likely, she wouldn't have had it any other way.  I think she liked being his partner in every sense of the word.  The last time I saw her standing on legs that supported her perfect frame, she and her fellow were chopping peanuts together on an 80+ degree day in May.  Bothered that they were out in mid-day's sun, yet; a part of me wanted to freeze that moment with a picture.  With regret, I gaze back at another notion not followed through.  How absurd, that I felt I could tell them, a couple whose lives had been spent working alongside one another in the sweltering fields, that they should not be there.





Together we live life...minute by minute.

Stories of prairie women have forever captivated me.  With skirts tied, they chopped wood, fed livestock, built fires, walked behind mules...all while raising children. 



Alongside. 



They simply did the thang.  No 'Dr Phil' show to make them feel neglected nor the constant status updates from Facebook to keep them occupied.  True American, bonnet-wearing heroes! 



Genesis 2:18 talks about the need for a "helpmeet" as per the KJV or "help suitable" per NIV, for man.  It is the Bible's first mention of a wife.  This term refers to "a woman, as a helper, precisely adapted to man".  Precisely, suitably, adapted... as a partner.  Not a slave or another animal for Adam to have dominion over.  No indication of subordination.  The Hebrew word, "ezer",  or help, means to surround, protect, aid and support.  A constant work in balance between strengths and weaknesses between him and her.  Ebb and flow.  A yielding and obedience that only love can explain.




Yes, even on those days.  You know the ones.  Days your tank is on empty and you feel like you have nothing else to give. 





Iron sharpening iron.



Alongside,




living out life, whatever it may be. 



Shuffling children,



Juggling bills,



Scrubbing toilets,



Walking dogs,



Saying "I'm sorry"



Or love's final act;

Gripping an aged-spotted hand as earthly flesh is abandoned to don heavenly robes.




Alongside...help, suitable


Where you are may seem dark and dreary, even hopeless.    Been there 
Is it ever too late to start over?    Not as long as you have breath
Do any of us get it perfect?   absolutely not!
Where do I start?     Prayer
What will I teach my girls by treating my husband this way?  God's perfect plan

Impressive fire pit, don't you think?

Digging deep, reaching high

Do you remember?

Do you remember that day?  What you were doing, where you were?  Remember how you watched TV, non-stop because you just couldn't turn it off, or look away, even though it hurt...DOWN DEEP?  How you kept your teenagers home and they didn't argue?  Met at churches and prayed?  Sobbed like a baby the 1st time you tried to sing the Star Spangled Banner after the attack? 

Now it's that time of year again, when the weather is more than perfect and the skies are bluer than ever.  and we all pause to remember.  Once a year, we shed tears again and learn more about the people who lost loved ones that day. 

A few days ago, I listened to the story of a man who lost his wife that morning.  It was her first day back at work after maternity leave.  That crude, horrid act of a terrorist, left a 9 week old and a 2 year old without a mom and the inability to ever remember her on their on accord.  "Hate" left a man to mourn, pick up the pieces and to begin life as a single parent.  On September 11th, we reminisce how our lives were changed and our country assaulted. 

They, live it everyday. 

Yeah, we got problems, big ones.  Our leaders are so wrapped up in politics and re-elections and their own agendas they can't take care of what we sent them to Washington to do.  Financially, the outlook is grim.  Health care is beyond my comprehension.  We still have soldiers in harm's way.  The education of our children is no longer a priority in many homes.  Hurricanes and forest fires have ravaged both coasts.  Our Atlanta station showed how Georgia is in a state of drought, with the southern parts now enduring a severe drought.  All the while, today, I looked at my friend's pictures of the river in her Pennsylvania town spilling over throughout the city and I said prayers. 

People devastated, losing everything. 

I watched clips this morning and listened as people told their stories. Mayor Giuliani and President Bush reflected, both, even now, with big lumps in their throat. Matt Lauer took the audience as he toured the One World Trade Center under construction. It is to be the country's tallest building.  Soaring over the beautiful New York city skyline, they showed the view, and it was breath-taking.  One man has worked there consistently through the last 10 years on different crews, doing clean-up and construction.  He hasn't left.  His brother died there and his body, never found.  Working on this architectural tower-of-all-towers gives him healing. 

The symbolic height of this building set every patriotic cell of my being on fire. They tore it down, we built it back...bigger and better, all 1776 feet. 

USA USA USA!!

Hollywood can't make a movie this good

Isaiah 40:31
but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

God, renew us as a nation under You.  Rebuild as a nation seeking You.  Start with me.

 

What's that smell?

Isn't it interesting that when you smell something foul and you look for it long enough, you find it on your shoe?  Last night, I walked out into the dark backyard wearing my comfy bedroom shoes with Reagan.  Walking across the deck, I noticed it, that familiar 'bouquet'.  Leaving my bedroom shoes on the deck, frustrated, I came back inside.  At bedtime, I borrowed Gregg's shoes for a last 'chance' outside for the dogs.  I borrowed the pair he left conveniently at the back door, his favorite pair.  I had to leave those outside also.  What was I thinking, walking out into the night-time landmine that has become our backyard?

Is there a life application here?  Maybe so, if something stinks, check your shoes, you could be the one spreading it all around. 

Then there's the smell of fresh.  How do you bottle that?  Oh, the Glade company keeps trying.  It's 65 degrees outside right now.  Windows open, curtains rustling, and I'm a tad chilly.  Welcome back Autumn, how I've missed you.   Sheets are spinning in the washer now.  If it weren't for a neighborhood association opposed to clotheslines, those sheets would be flapping in the wind soon. 

That's an aroma worth sharing.

Smells do that.  Get us remembering, bring us comfort.  Make us think, "I want that."

I stalked several old women around a mall one Saturday simply because I caught a whiff of Adorn hairspray.  I wanted to smell my grandmother again.  Every December, people are willing to bring a fresh cut evergreen into their home for the simple fragrance of Christmas.   In spite of the vacuuming, watering and limbs that don't support ornaments, there's that smell that can't be duplicated.  It welcomes you home night after dark, December, dead of winter, night.  It's worth it.

Are you fragrant? 

When you walk out of a room what kind of an aroma do you leave?  (to all my family members who want to insert bathroom humor here, please resist the urge) We all leave one.  Maybe not necessarily stimulating the human olfactory nerve, yet still an aroma. 

Hopefully, an aroma that leaves everyone saying, "I want that."

 II Corinthians 2:15  "For we are a sweet aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing."

Here's hoping that today you'll leave a sweet aroma.  If not, make sure you check your shoes.

Digging deep, reaching high.

sleeping cats and dogs

When you get married and start a family, you may notice that your bed develops a revolving door.  Oh no, not "that kind", but one that proclaims that your bed is the primo spot in the house.  When they were scared, it's where they came.  In times of sickness, it had healin' powers.  Thunderstorms called them boldly down the hall.  Saturday mornings, when little ones didn't want to sleep but parents did, it became our place for cereal and cartoons.  The ideal mooring for everything from tickles to prayers, and storytime to late night confessions.  

Linsey liked to sleep with her feet lodged in my spine and her head wedged between her dad's shoulder blades.  Casey and Teri were snugglers, which meant numb arms and sore necks the next day.  Maybe not the best sleep for Gregg and me, but what treasured memories.  Now Kati Beth has taken on the sleeping habits of her Aunt Linsey when she joins Granddaddy and Mimi in our bed.  How I love those sweet feet in my back!

Now our bed has gone to the dogs.

Truman likes to burrow.  Deep under the covers, digging, circling until he settles and then sleeps...until he gets hot, then he comes up for air.  This goes on all night. about every 15 minutes or so it seems.  Reagan is a nuzzler but she's also a puppy.  I sleep with one eye open, halfway afraid she might confuse my covers for the grass of my backyard. 

So tuck all this in the same bed, along with the nocturnal tendencies of Zoey, the cat, and my doc wonders why I need Ambien. 

and then there's  me_o___se.  Not saying it outloud.  Wouldn't be right.  Could it get hotter? 

(I shouldn't say that where Texans can read this, or even folks from eastern NC.)

But, it's hot!  I woke up yesterday morning almost having a panic attack.  Sweating, kicking sheets, all the while being spooned by canines on either side and a cat on my neck.  AAAhhhhh!  I'm hot!  Everybody off!  NOW!!! 

They look at me like sad, abused children.  "We were just snuggling mom... "

Thankfully, they are forgiving and back spooning again and my hot flash has subsided...for now.

Ungrateful

Ungrateful

Who am I to question what I have or what I'm supposed to have?  I'm here, ode to grace.

We are gifted by God so we can become a gift used by God.  The Holy Spirit tells us that through both Paul and Peter.  So many times, the very thing we desire to change is what God uses in our lives to reflect Him, bring Him glory.  We may not ever know this side of heaven our purpose.  It's not ours to know.  We are to live for Him, revealing His glory.

Accepting our situation presently, not yearning for what is not here.  Not thinking "God must of made a mistake because I'm not where I always dreamed I would be".  The Omniscient must not have known my plans. 

Have I forgotten who I am?  A vapor, a tiny grain of sand in His great universe.  Forgive me Lord.

I am a wallower.  Peeking through rusted wire fences as a child, I know wallowing.  I can still smell it.  I had big plans, God.  Big meals around a table with children running, mamas yelling, the guys savoring the roast.  All after Sunday morning church together.  That was my dream.  I've held onto it, thinking it could still happen, if we move here or go to work there.  Meanwhile, life passes.  So do the blessings.  Pass right by, like the cars I counted with my sisters on a Saturday afternoon...waiting.   I proclaim so easily and boldly, I give up my life as a living sacrifice for you Lord,  all while complaining when "my" life plans are adjusted.  Forgive me Redeemer.

My mind sets on what it wants.  Not budging, not settling, being stubborn.  Is my mind penetrable? 

Romans 8:5 "Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires....Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God."

Romans 12:2 "be transformed by the renewing of your mind"

Colossians 3:1 .."set your hearts on things above, ..., set your minds on things above, not on earthly things."

The references seem endless.  I've read all these before with thoughts of "S.I.N.".   Sins of adultery, pornography, drugs and alcholism, not the desires of a mom who just wants her children around.   When my desires don't line up with the will of Christ, his good, pleasing and perfect will, and I choose to follow or mourn after those  desires, that is sin...same as S.I.N.  

God have mercy.  Forgive me, Counselor.

I Thessalonians 5:16 "Be joyful always, pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

So I start, even now.  I'm a concrete thinker.  I need to see it and chew on it, so I list it.  There in colored ink, I read it over and over and remember more and more.  I write faster.  Tears dripping on pages, I record God's blessings on me.  His vapor, His wave-tossed, His child.  I sit, overwhelmed by grace and thanksgiving.  Doing what I ought to do, not what comes natural.  Praising God for the blessings and the ways I've been surrounded and protected.  Blessing me with the hope I can then be a blessing. 

I stand here receiving it, Grace,  falling like a summer rain on a parched field. 

Grateful to the Great "I AM".

"Heart of my own heart whatever befall
Still be my vision O Ruler of all"

Digging deep, reaching high.

there Love is...

This dark, old snapshot allows me a glimpse back to the most fascinating day in my life.  All the years, I've focused on the couple in the center about to leave for a honeymoon, but last night I focused on all the sweet faces surrounding the car.  Twenty-nine years ago today that was me leaving with my brand, spanking, new husband and we were so naive about what we had just done.  We were delighted and thrilled to be starting a new life together but mostly, we were clueless.  Sometimes...ignorance is bliss. 

The photographer was my father-in-law.  He had one of those disc cameras that everyone had in the early 80's.  He took so many pictures and usually got 3 copies of each one.  This one I hardly noticed until last night, but today I cherish.  This may take a while but I want to acquaint you with some of the people in this shot. 

The first person I see is Gregg's aunt.  Living in Chicago at the time, we were thrilled she came all the way and shared this day with us.  A missionary in Africa, she wasn't around much but through the mail, she stayed in constant contact with her nephew and she wouldn't miss this for the world. 

Next, I notice my cousin Cathy.  If anyone could make pregnancy elegant, she could and she did!  She organized and help to plan my wedding, choreographed our entrance, all just a couple of weeks before she was going to give birth to her son.  And she still managed to look radiant!  I still can't believe I asked her to do this (what did I know about being pregnant then)  and I'm still shocked and thankful she agreed. 

There's my young brother and sister right up front, 12 and 14.  They look so much younger, then  I would have given my life for them, still would...

I see my Uncle Dick wandering around in the background, where he always did his best work.  I miss him so much!  Then there's Joanie, crying...she has loved me, unceasingly.  Scanning to the right, I see my dad looking a little sad and my aunt's gentle hand placed on his arm, Comfort.  Big sister taking care of little brother, everlasting.  She's taken care of people since she was two years old, I presume.  I'm most thankful, she was there to take care of me.

In the center, is another aunt.  She loved and loved and loved some more.  My wedding cake was her gift to me.  Hours of baking and decorating and it turned out beautiful just like her.  Growing up she was just there.  Grooming me, teaching me, molding me.  Eventually, she would be with me in the delivery room with my 1st daughter and through the pangs of each contraction I stayed focused on her perfectly, white teeth.  Possibly, even then, the cancer cells were there. Invading, knowing they would eventually win.  I.hate.cancer.

The one in the navy blue dress...she's my grandmother.  She looked beautiful that day, as she did everyday.  She could rock a pair of heels, yet was the ultimate picture of humility.  She was the heart of our family, the one everyone came home to and the one that with great love, welcomed everyone home.  I believe, in heaven, there is no evidence of strokes, "the lame will dance, they'll dance for they are able. and the weary find rest, oh, the weary find rest...In You."  Thank you God for that assurance.

Some of the faces are blurry or dark, I'm thinking that's Uncle Bob next to Danny is his early 80's three-piece suit.  Next to my dad would be my cousin Linda and then Aunt Ann, I think.  My step-mother isn't in the photo because she and her certifiably, crazy sisters are still working, cleaning and wrapping up everything, following our lovely Southern wedding reception.  There are many family members probably standing on the other side of the car that we can't see.

Sometimes, you don't even know how much you are surrounded by love.  You think you're all alone in this big, bad, world and then you look up and there Love is.  That's what family is all about, even more so, marriage.  Gregg has loved me when I've been unlovable, extinguished my pity parties, and supported me when I wanted to step out and try something knew. 

Here's to at least 29 more years Gregg, surrounded by love.

and chocolate pie!

Tidings of comfort and joy...

Grilled cheese.  Perfectly toasted, buttery, compressed and cheese oozing.  Cut in perfect triangles.  Paradisaical! Comfort and joy!  One of those things in life for which I am SO thankful.  Who could possibly turn one away?  (Besides those with gluten allergies, aversions to dairy, diabetis, vegans, low fat diets) 

This is one of those food items I just don't want tampered with.  The ingredients are almost always on hand.  I refuse to even read Southern Living's low fat version.  Don't even think about handing me artisan bread or gourmet cheese for this elementary creation.   So simple and yet it provides so much comfort.  Pairs perfectly with tomato soup on the bitter cold days of winter or a fresh fruit salad in summer. 

There are downsides...I prepare one sandwich.  Of course, I want two.  Oh, and the Comfort and joy, well, it lasts about 2 hours. 

Isn't that how most earthly, tangible things are?  Get all excited, talk it up and before you know it's gone. 

Psalm 145 promises the Lord faithfulness to all his promises.  "The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time.  You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing."

Notice the tense of 'satisfy'.  not Satisfied, past tense, as in "remember that Thanksgiving when I was so stuffed I didn't get hungry again for 5 hours."  But present tense as in it's happening now and next week it will still be happening and 20 years... still happening, still satisfied. 

His hand is out, He uplifts those who fall, He satisfies desires, He is faithful.  Presently!  Right now!  These are the characteristics of the One whose dominion is everlasting. 

The familiar story of the woman at the well ends with many of the Samaritans believing.  John 4:42 "We no longer believe just because of what you said; now we have heard for ourselves and we know that this man really is the Savior of the world."

See for yourself!  His hand is open...right now.

Digging deep, Reaching high...

Getting Rid Of Weeds

Yard work.  It is never ending.  Our lawn is covered in leaves and it's August, not Oct.  Whatever will we do then?  Pine combs, sweet gum balls and acorns prevent me from ever walking barefoot on my own bit of earth.  Hovering mosquitoes have hijacked the deck and are willing to accept a ransom that I'm not willing to pay.  My broom and I attack the blanketing spider webs.  Trowel and I ambush the weeds.  Confusingly, the weeds love this plot of land, yet the grass would prefer the neighbors yard.  Truly the grass is greener over yonder.   But I.love.this.place!  We chose it, knowing there would be work. 


My red, hot and dirty Man has poured his sweat into this place, burned up a lawnmower and set fire to a few tree limbs, but has never yet seemed frustrated.  We choose the laugh instead.  We bought a house that the owners had vacated several months prior to our arrival and as earlier stated, yard work is never-ending.  Which translates to "we have a lot of catchin' up to do." 


Isn't that how all of life is?  Cleaning out weeds, throwing away the rubbish and pruning the thriving limbs.  "Pruning, so it will be even more fruitful" (John 15:3 )  Poison ivy and thorns leave their mark.  Sun toasts revealed skin.  Raking, digging, pulling, exposure .... muscle aches, sunburn, blisters, grimy finger nails, unveiling grace and beauty.


Evening comes and we celebrate our progress and tomorrow we start again.

His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.

 

Digging deep, reaching high

That's the Pursuit

Searching begins with prayer. This disharmony in my being speaks louder than anything else. I listen, because I know that voice. My choice differentiates my real passion; to follow the notions that build "me" up and produce fleeting moments of satisfaction or follow and seek passionately after Christ. Christ has my best in mind...ALWAYS... Christ is not out to smash my dreams. If anything, He will use my passions to build His kingdom, if He is indeed, MY true Compass. In Philippians, Paul uses the Greek word, "dioko" meaning "to pursue, chase or hunt down". My dog, Truman, is a hunter. Even though he's not trained and has never been with a hunter, it's in his bones. Whenever a fluffy tailed predator invades our back yard, he moans and trembles with every cell of his body, waiting until that door is opened and then it's on. With the loud, baying of a beagle, he chases with such yearning, fervor and craving.  That's dioko. That's the pursuit Paul's talkin' 'bout. Compelling though, that Paul uses this word twice in the same chapter. Once referring to his intense "persecution" of the church and then "pressing on" towards his goal in Christ.  Hhhmmm, dioko can be used for good or bad??? All depends upon who or Who is doing the driving. My inferior eyes, constrained by human limits, cannot distinguish what is best for me, at this time, in this place. Therefore I must proceed, I must press on, seeking first His kingdom, His glory, His heart, His will for me at all times and in all places.    Digging deep and reaching high.

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6:13:00 AM

by Tami

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Finding my Way

Where am I going? What do I even want to do?  I'm lost in the middle of my living room.  For most of my life I've been so driven, directed, organized and scheduled.  My kids are grown (loving that!!)!  We've moved again, (should be loving that but ehhhh not so much).  I'm not even sure what I'm interested in anymore.  I've served, directed, motivated, encouraged, threatened three daughters and a husband right into their own success.  Meanwhile, my life has been lost. 

Ahhh, not meaning to sound so bleak or depressing, I'm just being real...shooting straight.  I've lost my passion, forgot my way.  I'm needing to find myself.  (Insert 70's music here minus the drugs and sex.)  I can't even find clothes anymore.  You know, something between sexy and frumpy, old lady clothes. 

So, here's to a new start, where I'm thankful for daughters who have found their way and a husband who loves his job and 2 dogs who make me laugh and mostly that I'm surrounded by love and encouragment to grow.